I really do not want to waste my time on this. The New Republic posted a bunch of absurdist tales by an anonymous guy named “Scott Thomas”

Greyhawk has a great milblog roundup debunking these urban legends.

Let’s review the phases of public discourse on warfare.
First, we support the noble troops but will sabotage their mission.
Second, the troops are really victims.
Third, the troops are uneducated drooling morons because they still support the mission.
Fourth, the troops are baby-killing felons.

This is actually a little strange to me. In International Relations, the criticism of “pro-war” arguments is that they are too rational. Arguments rest on game theory, logical deduction, cost-benefit tradeoffs, economics, and conflicts of interest. The critique of IR scholarship by the Left is that they are unemotional. Instead we should have feelings or something.

Anyway, Leftists seem to be falling back into Vietnam era rhetoric.

Daily Kos has been writing bizarre hateful things about Jews, soldiers, teddy bears and the like for a long time. The Killitary posts are normal for them.

So back to Scott Thomas as the lastest example of the mythical Christian Drooling Moron Baby-Killing Retard Soldier

Consider a few things about the “chow hall” incident:
-No one at FOB Falcon has seen the injured woman “Thomas” described. She does not exist.
-The author uses the incorrect lingo (chow hall instead of DFAC).
-He does not know uniform codes. Soldiers only wear Army uniforms and civilians only wear civilian clothing. This prevents confusion, as you can imagine. Scott Thomas must be confused.
-He does not know what real IED injuries look like and someone with burns to that extent would receive months of recovery and would not go back to the theater.

The Grave Incident:
-No Mass Graves have been reported by any of the FOB Falcon units. It does not exist.
-A child’s skull does not fit on an adult’s head. I feel dumber for writing that sentence.
-a Kevlar helmet will not fit over a skull on an adult’s head. The helmet is padded and designed to make a tight fit.
-No sane NCO or Officer will let a soldier parade around for a full day without a helmet while wearing human remains in a combat zone.
-There are some issues with his discription of decomposing flesh in what would be 25-30 year old grave sites where unembalmed victims stayed in ultra-hot land.

The Bradley Incident:
-Bradleys are slow turning tracked vehicles. To make a sharp turn, the driver has to slow one tread and accelerate another. The turn is probably too slow to chase dogs.
-The Bradley has a blindspot on the right hand side where Thomas claims the driver spotted the dogs.
-The physics of the dog wounds are impossible. A dog would be partially crushed if treads hit it. When you consider the width of the Bradley track and the weight of the vehicle, it is not possible to saw a dog in half, unless the dog is six feet long and the thread has a blade down the center.
-Convoys maintain strict discipline. They do not deviate from paths because this places vehicles at risk to IEDs. No NCO or Officer will allow a Bradley driver to swerve back and forth all day long.
-Bradleys are top-heavy vehicles. Swerving back and forth for no reason isn’t a good idea. It bounces around everyone inside and risks flipping the vehicle. Soldiers would notice reckless driving very quickly.

That’s the obvious stuff. The less obvious point is this: Scott Thomas is responsible for reporting these incidents to his commanders. He did not do so (probably because he doesn’t exist).

You can see how urban legends can start. A Humvee hits a dog, hey, things happen. The story spreads and turns into a joke. Perhaps a Bradley did hit a dog at some point. A soldier saw some dead bodies and made some black jokes.

The Scott Thomas stories are not the “bad news” variety. They are absurd. They take a plausible incident and exaggerate it to the point where it becomes a joke.

The BlackFive milbloggers think this is a joke on the New Republic. Perhaps some soldier played a game on gullible journalists. If so, his commander will chew him out.

The New Republic published a bunch of urban legends. This is a repeat of the Stephen Glass episode. A “reporter” makes up a fable but leaves no paper trail to directly disprove his fiction. At least people are questioning it.

“Scott Thomas” made a little error. He picked the wrong FOB.
He claims to be from FOB Falcon and is part of a mechanized infantry unit using Bradleys. This narrows it down. Way way down. To the 1-18 IN.

With the Brads and Archeology, that may put you as Alpha 1/18 attached to Combat 1-28 Infanty.

If my guess is correct, that narrows it down to about 100 guys and your organic C.O. is Captain Robby Johnson.

Reporters like JD Johannes and Michael Yon worked with the 1-18 and never witnessed anything as stupid as Scott Thomas’ claims.

Army Officers in FOB Falcon contradict critical parts of Thomas’ story. There is no woman with the melted face, civilian or military, at FOB Falcon. There is no mass grave. They are Bradleys and dogs at least, but it’s impossible for Bradleys to do what he describes.

With the Brads and Archeology, that may put you as Alpha 1/18 attached to Combat 1-28 Infanty.

If my guess is correct, that narrows it down to about 100 guys and your organic C.O. is Captain Robby Johnson.

I shouldn’t have to do this. All the military bloggers at mudville, blackfive and others shouldn’t have to do this. The stories are fantastically absurd and violate the rules of physics.

To say that the stories are physically and biologically impossible means that the military men are labeled “conservative bloggers” by The New Republic so they can be safely ignored.

This is a similar story. “Narrative was right, but the facts were wrong.”

Narratives belong to the world of fiction.